Worry, Worry, Worry

This month the book in my reading program is, "How to Stop Worrying and Start Living" by Dale Carnegie. I had mixed feelings about this book. First, I looked forward to having a book I hadn't read before. I always love new material. Second, I love "How to Win Friends" by Dale Carnegie. Third, I'm not a worrier, never have been, always saw the glass as half full. So how much could I really get out of the book?

I think some worry comes naturally to parents, especially moms of teenagers. If your kid isn't home on time you're sure that they are dead in a ditch. But if they aren't dead, you're gonna kill 'em! But I don't think that's the kind of worry this book was going to talk about. It isn't.

Well, I was going along reading, finishing most parts of the book with a "DUH!" Especially part three, "How to Break the Worry Habit Before it Breaks You". Most of those rules, I already live my life by. Summarized in my words: Keep busy, don't sweat the small stuff, what's the odds, outta my control, can't do anything about it and what's done is done.

Then life threw me a curve ball. My 16 year old started having strange medical things happening. They seemed to all be minor and non-related. He is an athlete and has had NOTHING his whole life. He had chickenpox as a toddler. That's it, no flu, no colds, no disease at all. He did get kicked in the face once during a race and he broke his arm too. That is his complete medical history. So it was a little disturbing when things started happening. Then as they had him hooked up to an EKG, I was commenting that I vaguely remember a pediatrician saying of one of my babies, that he, "...heard a slight palpitation. It was usually something babies grew out of." It was so minor that I had forgotten even which kid. The nurse then said something, as she watched his EKG, that is still echoing in my brain, "Ya... well... it was probably him" Next thing I know, we are referred to a cardiologist for further testing.

WOW, worry, worry, worry... Ok let's flip through the book. What can help with this? Part One: Rule 1: Live in "day-tight compartments"; don't worry about yesterday or tomorrow. This didn't help; I am worried about his health, RIGHT NOW! Rule 2: What's the worst that can happen? Prepare yourself for the worst. NOT GOOD!!! Rule 3: Worry will just stress you out. Still not helping!!! Ok Part Two: Rule 1: Get the facts. Ok that helps a little, we don't even know yet what is going on. It could be very minor. That's a little better. Rule 2: Come to a decision. Well, no decision to be made yet. Rule 3: Carry out your decision. Rule 4: Write out and answer the following questions: What am I worrying about? What can I do about it? Ah-Ha! That helps! What am I worrying about? My son's health. What can I do about it? Get him the best possible medical treatment. We're doing that. He has a cardiologist appointment next week, and then we will get the facts and make whatever decisions need to be made… then. Again, it might be nothing major. That's all we can do for now, back to living in "day-tight compartments".

I now realize this is again, the slight edge principle. Dale Carnegie asks,

Do you put off living in the present in order to worry about the future, or to yearn for some "magical rose garden over the horizon"?... Do you sometimes embitter the present by regretting things that happened in the past?... Do you get up in the morning determined to "Seize the day"?

He also quoted the following poem by Kalidasa:

Salutation to the Dawn
Look to this day!
For it is life, the very life of life.
In its brief course
Lie all the verities and realities of your existence:
     The bliss of growth
          The glory of action
               The splendor of beauty,
For yesterday is but a dream
And tomorrow is only a vision,
But today well lived makes every yesterday a dream of happiness,
And every tomorrow a vision of hope.
Look well, therefore, to this day!
Such is the salutation to the dawn.

That's living on the eighth day, not "some day" or "wish I would have", but today!

I'm living on the eighth day, right now!