A Mother’s Worry

As I mentioned in a couple of posts my 16 year old, Jacob has been having cardiac tests. Their concern was that he had hypertrophic cardiomyopathy or HCM. This is a congenital condition of an extra thick heart muscle. The most common symptom of this undiagnosed condition is SCD or Sudden Cardiac Death! Great! Just what a mother wants to hear. The cardiologist helped some, he seemed to think that Jacob was just EXTRA healthy. Did I mention that he is a nationally competitive speed skater? He trains very extensively. That’s actually how we got him checked; his coach noticed that he got light headed frequently.

The cardiologist was pretty sure that he just had a super healthy heart and a strong vagal nerve. The vagal nerve is what controls our heart rate. We can learn to stimulate our vagal nerve through bio-feedback and breathing exercises. This would actually explain a lot. Through Jacob’s training we have had a hard time getting him to maintain a high heart rate. It seems as soon as he stops he heart rate returns to normal very quickly. He has actually had coaches not believe that he had skated his hardest when he could talk calmly within 1 minute.

Still the cardiologist wanted to do a stress test and an echocardiogram, just to check. The stress test seemed to show that he was good. They managed to increase his heart rate normally. Everything looked good. The echo would just confirm that everything was ok. Then we didn’t hear for almost two weeks!!!

Finally the call came, “we need to schedule an appointment to discuss abnormalities in his echo”. What? Jacob was leaving in two days to train for Indoor Nationals; he would be back for the Fourth of July, then gone again for more training and Outdoor Nationals until August. What “abnormalities”? Does this affect his training? His life? They had no answers and left a message for the doctor. He didn’t call back until the next day. THAT was a stressful 24 hours! Jacob has two congenital heart defects, a bicuspid aortic artery and a mitral valve prolapsed. Basically, one valve has only two flaps, when there should be three and the other valve has a floppy flap. The only time that these can be dangerous is in an un-healthy person. He may be more likely to have heart disease later in life if he doesn’t practice a healthy heart lifestyle.

All of the sudden God’s blessings became clear. Because he is an athlete we were able to discover this now AND he already lives that healthy lifestyle. He will probably always have a cardiologist to check on him on a regular basis. He may or may not need heart surgery as an old man but that is many, MANY years from now. So he is cleared for training as hard as he wants or I should say as hard as his coaches want and we will meet with the cardiologist in August to find out more details but for now, a mother’s worry is calmed!

I'm living on the eighth day, right now!

Worry, Worry, Worry

This month the book in my reading program is, "How to Stop Worrying and Start Living" by Dale Carnegie. I had mixed feelings about this book. First, I looked forward to having a book I hadn't read before. I always love new material. Second, I love "How to Win Friends" by Dale Carnegie. Third, I'm not a worrier, never have been, always saw the glass as half full. So how much could I really get out of the book?

I think some worry comes naturally to parents, especially moms of teenagers. If your kid isn't home on time you're sure that they are dead in a ditch. But if they aren't dead, you're gonna kill 'em! But I don't think that's the kind of worry this book was going to talk about. It isn't.

Well, I was going along reading, finishing most parts of the book with a "DUH!" Especially part three, "How to Break the Worry Habit Before it Breaks You". Most of those rules, I already live my life by. Summarized in my words: Keep busy, don't sweat the small stuff, what's the odds, outta my control, can't do anything about it and what's done is done.

Then life threw me a curve ball. My 16 year old started having strange medical things happening. They seemed to all be minor and non-related. He is an athlete and has had NOTHING his whole life. He had chickenpox as a toddler. That's it, no flu, no colds, no disease at all. He did get kicked in the face once during a race and he broke his arm too. That is his complete medical history. So it was a little disturbing when things started happening. Then as they had him hooked up to an EKG, I was commenting that I vaguely remember a pediatrician saying of one of my babies, that he, "...heard a slight palpitation. It was usually something babies grew out of." It was so minor that I had forgotten even which kid. The nurse then said something, as she watched his EKG, that is still echoing in my brain, "Ya... well... it was probably him" Next thing I know, we are referred to a cardiologist for further testing.

WOW, worry, worry, worry... Ok let's flip through the book. What can help with this? Part One: Rule 1: Live in "day-tight compartments"; don't worry about yesterday or tomorrow. This didn't help; I am worried about his health, RIGHT NOW! Rule 2: What's the worst that can happen? Prepare yourself for the worst. NOT GOOD!!! Rule 3: Worry will just stress you out. Still not helping!!! Ok Part Two: Rule 1: Get the facts. Ok that helps a little, we don't even know yet what is going on. It could be very minor. That's a little better. Rule 2: Come to a decision. Well, no decision to be made yet. Rule 3: Carry out your decision. Rule 4: Write out and answer the following questions: What am I worrying about? What can I do about it? Ah-Ha! That helps! What am I worrying about? My son's health. What can I do about it? Get him the best possible medical treatment. We're doing that. He has a cardiologist appointment next week, and then we will get the facts and make whatever decisions need to be made… then. Again, it might be nothing major. That's all we can do for now, back to living in "day-tight compartments".

I now realize this is again, the slight edge principle. Dale Carnegie asks,

Do you put off living in the present in order to worry about the future, or to yearn for some "magical rose garden over the horizon"?... Do you sometimes embitter the present by regretting things that happened in the past?... Do you get up in the morning determined to "Seize the day"?

He also quoted the following poem by Kalidasa:

Salutation to the Dawn
Look to this day!
For it is life, the very life of life.
In its brief course
Lie all the verities and realities of your existence:
     The bliss of growth
          The glory of action
               The splendor of beauty,
For yesterday is but a dream
And tomorrow is only a vision,
But today well lived makes every yesterday a dream of happiness,
And every tomorrow a vision of hope.
Look well, therefore, to this day!
Such is the salutation to the dawn.

That's living on the eighth day, not "some day" or "wish I would have", but today!

I'm living on the eighth day, right now!