Why can’t men vacuum?

Those who are friends on facebook know that we have recently done some upgrades to our yard. By June we finally had enough grass that required a lawn mower. So the weekend of my birthday my husband bought ME a lawn mower. IT WAS NOT A BIRTHDAY PRESENT! He bought it for me because he is still working as a consultant in Long Beach, CA.

Mowing the lawn is an entirely new experience for me. I grew up in the country and we did mow the 5 acres around our house, mowing was my dad’s job. Although, I do recall my mother hopping on the riding mower once in a while but it was definitely a parent job not a kid job. When I left my parent's house I was in college and then I got married so any lawn I had, my husband took care of. It is just the way we settled into our household chores. I got laundry, he got yard. Although THAT is not a fair comparison, I HATE doing laundry and he loves working on the yard. It’s the farmer in him.

We got an electric lawn mower, a pretty cherry red one (STILL NOT A PRESENT).  Our yard is so small that a riding mower would be ridiculous. A person would spend more time turning around than mowing. It made me think of Rosanne’s “Domestic Goddess” routine when she said she would do housework when they made a riding vacuum cleaner. (first vacuuming thought)

Even though I haven’t mowed lawns before, I remember watching my dad go back & forth in a pretty pattern. I also frequently would be outside doing other yard work when Jeff mowed and for some reason weed eating became my job. So I’m not a complete yard novice. However, adding the electric factor makes a difference when figuring out the best pattern method, you have a cord to contend with. There is also the tree and pool slide to maneuver around. It has taken me four or five times to figure out which patterns work best. The backyard was easiest just the outside edges were odd shapes but the front had the tree and phone trunk line box (why is it in OUR yard?).

Yesterday, as I finally found the exact right pattern for the front yard, I thought how much it was like vacuuming. Cord management is a large part, covering the area efficiently and getting around obstacles. I know that men take pride in their lawns and mowing techniques. It made me think, “Why can men vacuum better?” I know the few times that I asked my husband to vacuum, he just did a willy nilly starburst type thing in the middle of the room.

As a reminder, I live in a house of ALL boys, four sons in all, which brings me to another question, “With an all male household, why is mom the one doing the yard work?”

I'm living on the eighth day, right now!

A Mother’s Worry

As I mentioned in a couple of posts my 16 year old, Jacob has been having cardiac tests. Their concern was that he had hypertrophic cardiomyopathy or HCM. This is a congenital condition of an extra thick heart muscle. The most common symptom of this undiagnosed condition is SCD or Sudden Cardiac Death! Great! Just what a mother wants to hear. The cardiologist helped some, he seemed to think that Jacob was just EXTRA healthy. Did I mention that he is a nationally competitive speed skater? He trains very extensively. That’s actually how we got him checked; his coach noticed that he got light headed frequently.

The cardiologist was pretty sure that he just had a super healthy heart and a strong vagal nerve. The vagal nerve is what controls our heart rate. We can learn to stimulate our vagal nerve through bio-feedback and breathing exercises. This would actually explain a lot. Through Jacob’s training we have had a hard time getting him to maintain a high heart rate. It seems as soon as he stops he heart rate returns to normal very quickly. He has actually had coaches not believe that he had skated his hardest when he could talk calmly within 1 minute.

Still the cardiologist wanted to do a stress test and an echocardiogram, just to check. The stress test seemed to show that he was good. They managed to increase his heart rate normally. Everything looked good. The echo would just confirm that everything was ok. Then we didn’t hear for almost two weeks!!!

Finally the call came, “we need to schedule an appointment to discuss abnormalities in his echo”. What? Jacob was leaving in two days to train for Indoor Nationals; he would be back for the Fourth of July, then gone again for more training and Outdoor Nationals until August. What “abnormalities”? Does this affect his training? His life? They had no answers and left a message for the doctor. He didn’t call back until the next day. THAT was a stressful 24 hours! Jacob has two congenital heart defects, a bicuspid aortic artery and a mitral valve prolapsed. Basically, one valve has only two flaps, when there should be three and the other valve has a floppy flap. The only time that these can be dangerous is in an un-healthy person. He may be more likely to have heart disease later in life if he doesn’t practice a healthy heart lifestyle.

All of the sudden God’s blessings became clear. Because he is an athlete we were able to discover this now AND he already lives that healthy lifestyle. He will probably always have a cardiologist to check on him on a regular basis. He may or may not need heart surgery as an old man but that is many, MANY years from now. So he is cleared for training as hard as he wants or I should say as hard as his coaches want and we will meet with the cardiologist in August to find out more details but for now, a mother’s worry is calmed!

I'm living on the eighth day, right now!

More Thoughts on Life

We have been having beautiful weather here in Phoenix. May was gorgeous and it stayed beautiful for the first half of June. I had a wonderful birthday day. My husband, Jeff, was home for the weekend and stayed over for my actual birthday (on a Monday). My whole family was here, which is rare, usually my boys are going in four different directions. My daddy called to wish me a happy birthday. It’s a long story but I haven’t spoken to my parents for many years so it was a HUGE present to get to talk to him. We talked for an hour and what a joy to hear that they are doing well. My parents are in their mid 80s so it has been a constant concern of mine. Then I received over 60 birthday wishes on facebook. What another joy! Finally, we went out to dinner at “The Melting Pot” which is a fondue restaurant. It is almost dinner AND entertainment. Three hours of talking, dipping, cooking, laughing, it was sooo much fun!


Because of the weather I have been hiking a lot for my exercise. Sunday, June 13th, I was hiking with my prayer partner. It was beautiful blue sky, a lovely breeze and we were able to pray together and praise God on the top of a mountain. On the way home, my cousin, Kay, called me. My Uncle’s wife Donna had passed away. What? I couldn’t have heard her right. Donna was this energetic, active, healthy lady. When we stayed with them last summer she hiked my tail off. How? As I broke the news to the rest of my family, each replied with, “What?” It was mind boggling. I went a little numb. All the joy and hope I had been feeling just sort of drained from me. My poor uncle, to have found love again after my aunt passed, then for her to be so suddenly taken from him. Thank God for our faith. Donna was a Godly woman so we know that she and Jesus are rejoicing at her homecoming. All I could think of was the line in a song, “… life is precious, life is sweet…” The joy I was feeling that week was replaced with melancholy. Life goes by like a blink of an eye. Lord, help me to make the most of every single moment!!!

I'm living on the eighth day, right now!

Lessons from Julia Child

It’s been a weird month. We started summer. Jared went to church camp for the first time. When did he get old enough to go off on his own? Jacob started cardiac testing (more on that later). Add a little more worry to a mom. For the most part I have been keeping up on my habits checklist. I had my 47th birthday and my oldest son had his 24th birthday. Where did the time go?
I have been giving life a lot of thought. Actually, I have felt a little bi-polar. On one hand I was feeling like I’ve missed out, that this is all there is. All my grand dreams were never going to come true. Then I watched “Julie and Julia” which I highly recommend! I barely remember Julia Child as anything more than a cooking legend. My mom used to watch her show when it came on after “Captain Kangaroo”. I didn’t realize that she took up cooking because her husband got transferred to Paris and she was basically a bored housewife. I also didn’t realize how late in life she took up cooking. She was:

• 36 when she went to Paris
• 39 when she started teaching French cooking
• 49 when her 1st book came out “Mastering the Art of French Cooking”
• 52 when her 1st TV show aired “The French Chef”
• 88 when her last TV show “Julia Child’s Kitchen Wisdom” aired

That was 36 years of TV cooking! Her husband, Paul and she were at the end of their career as OSS agents, traveling the world as government employees, and she launched into a whole new career. A new career in which she became a legend! She created a whole new form of literature with her cook books and she basically invented the live cooking show. Plus she brought fine cooking to everyday households. What an impact she made on the world! What an inspiration! She hadn’t really done anything except learn how to cook, until she was 49. It really gave me hope that there are still big things out there for me.

I'm living on the eighth day, right now!

June Update

I haven’t posted in over a month. Sorry for the silence, as you will read in the following posts, it’s been a weird month. I decided to write multiple posts, sort of like chapters, so that everyone doesn’t have to read one mondo post. I’m still trying to stay on top of my daily habits and doing ok for the most part. I really would like to add or expand on them now that most have become in grained habits. For the most part I feel pretty stagnant and I would prefer to feel that I am constantly reaching and growing. I am giving it some thought as to how to expand my list. Look for an updated checklist next month. In the meantime, enjoy the following posts on reflections of this past month.

I'm living on the eighth day, right now!

Worry, Worry, Worry

This month the book in my reading program is, "How to Stop Worrying and Start Living" by Dale Carnegie. I had mixed feelings about this book. First, I looked forward to having a book I hadn't read before. I always love new material. Second, I love "How to Win Friends" by Dale Carnegie. Third, I'm not a worrier, never have been, always saw the glass as half full. So how much could I really get out of the book?

I think some worry comes naturally to parents, especially moms of teenagers. If your kid isn't home on time you're sure that they are dead in a ditch. But if they aren't dead, you're gonna kill 'em! But I don't think that's the kind of worry this book was going to talk about. It isn't.

Well, I was going along reading, finishing most parts of the book with a "DUH!" Especially part three, "How to Break the Worry Habit Before it Breaks You". Most of those rules, I already live my life by. Summarized in my words: Keep busy, don't sweat the small stuff, what's the odds, outta my control, can't do anything about it and what's done is done.

Then life threw me a curve ball. My 16 year old started having strange medical things happening. They seemed to all be minor and non-related. He is an athlete and has had NOTHING his whole life. He had chickenpox as a toddler. That's it, no flu, no colds, no disease at all. He did get kicked in the face once during a race and he broke his arm too. That is his complete medical history. So it was a little disturbing when things started happening. Then as they had him hooked up to an EKG, I was commenting that I vaguely remember a pediatrician saying of one of my babies, that he, "...heard a slight palpitation. It was usually something babies grew out of." It was so minor that I had forgotten even which kid. The nurse then said something, as she watched his EKG, that is still echoing in my brain, "Ya... well... it was probably him" Next thing I know, we are referred to a cardiologist for further testing.

WOW, worry, worry, worry... Ok let's flip through the book. What can help with this? Part One: Rule 1: Live in "day-tight compartments"; don't worry about yesterday or tomorrow. This didn't help; I am worried about his health, RIGHT NOW! Rule 2: What's the worst that can happen? Prepare yourself for the worst. NOT GOOD!!! Rule 3: Worry will just stress you out. Still not helping!!! Ok Part Two: Rule 1: Get the facts. Ok that helps a little, we don't even know yet what is going on. It could be very minor. That's a little better. Rule 2: Come to a decision. Well, no decision to be made yet. Rule 3: Carry out your decision. Rule 4: Write out and answer the following questions: What am I worrying about? What can I do about it? Ah-Ha! That helps! What am I worrying about? My son's health. What can I do about it? Get him the best possible medical treatment. We're doing that. He has a cardiologist appointment next week, and then we will get the facts and make whatever decisions need to be made… then. Again, it might be nothing major. That's all we can do for now, back to living in "day-tight compartments".

I now realize this is again, the slight edge principle. Dale Carnegie asks,

Do you put off living in the present in order to worry about the future, or to yearn for some "magical rose garden over the horizon"?... Do you sometimes embitter the present by regretting things that happened in the past?... Do you get up in the morning determined to "Seize the day"?

He also quoted the following poem by Kalidasa:

Salutation to the Dawn
Look to this day!
For it is life, the very life of life.
In its brief course
Lie all the verities and realities of your existence:
     The bliss of growth
          The glory of action
               The splendor of beauty,
For yesterday is but a dream
And tomorrow is only a vision,
But today well lived makes every yesterday a dream of happiness,
And every tomorrow a vision of hope.
Look well, therefore, to this day!
Such is the salutation to the dawn.

That's living on the eighth day, not "some day" or "wish I would have", but today!

I'm living on the eighth day, right now!

I Hate Mother's Day!

Mom's are the makers of holidays, without moms, holidays wouldn't even happen.  We bake the Christmas goodies, decorate the house, stuff the Easter Eggs, buy the gifts, etc.  This isn't a problem with most holidays.  As a mom, we enjoy it, we love to make those memories for our families.  The only problem I have is with the one holiday that is to celebrate mom.  It just doesn't seem right to plan a holiday celebrating yourself.

I think it goes back to the traditions we grew up with.  I grew up in a family that had a storybook Christmas, picture perfect Easters, and Fourth of July's with Fried Chicken, Watermelon, Parades and fireworks.  We even had green food on St Patrick's Day.  My husband however, grew up in a family that didn't celebrate holidays.  He was in high school before they had a Christmas tree in their house.  You know, the kind of family that gives underwear as a birthday present.

So Mother's Day, who plans that?  Dad, right?  Well, you can see the problem when the Dad grew up not celebrating ANY holidays and Mom grew up celebrating EVERY holiday in detail.  I have the added complication that I have four sons!!!  Guys just don't think about holiday type things.  It's more a girl thing.  Add to this situation that I haven't had a good track record when it comes to Mother's Day.

One of my first Mother's Day, my oldest was 2 years old, he gave me a VERY memorable present, chicken pox.  It was not just that he HAD chicken pox, he GAVE them to me.  I was sick for weeks (chicken pox is not fun as an adult).  The next year, we were moving homes, and I spent Mother's Day wall papering the new house.  The next year, at eight months pregnant, I had to wait 2 hours to be seated at a popular restaurant.  The year after that I worked 12 hours overtime!  AND the list goes on... I actually had one good memorable Mother's Day, 2002!  We went to Marie Calender's for dinner.  We had a baby with us so they sat us in the "kids" room and it was a little like eating at Chuckie Cheese, loud, crying kids, and bad service.  My oldest boys wrote me a poem. It made me cry. That was the best Mother's Day ever!  This year?  I was on a speed skating trip with my 16 year old.  He got sick and we spent 2 hours in Urgent Care in Colorado.  The oldest two, 23 and 19, sent me Happy Mother's Day text messages.  We went to hike Garden of the Gods, beautiful!  I fell, almost went over a cliff and split open my shin.  Not bad enough to need stitches but it shredded my favorite pair of jeans.

It's not actually the celebration, or the gifts that's important, I think it's knowing that you matter to your family.  For me, Mother's Day is just a reminder of how little my family thinks of me.  But then again, we don't give toilet paper much thought, but if it's not there... As a stay at home mom, the first thing I think of in the morning is my husband and children.  I spend my days doing things for them.  It's what I want to do and I usually love it but sometimes the selfish side of me flairs up, especially on Mother's Day.  "Who thinks of me first thing in the morning?  Who ever puts me first?  Who ever does anything for me?"  Me Me ME!!

Then it came to me.  There is someone who thinks of me first.  He puts me before himself in ALL that he does.  I'm his first thought in the morning and his last thought at night.  Everything in his character is for me.  He loves me so much that he is willing to die for me.  Actually, he did... Jesus died on the cross for me, JUST me.  I heard it said once, that if I was the only person in the world, Jesus would choose the cross again.  I AM His world!  The Creator of the universe did it all for me!

So I hate Mother's Day but it's just one day created by Hallmark to sell more cards.  I will rejoice on the other 364 days of the year that I am the most important person in the world to my Lord and that is MORE than enough!

I'm living on the eighth day, right now!

Labels

I've been giving labels a lot of thought lately and I think it comes down to being judgemental.  How do we determine what "label" a person is?  Is it because that is what they call themselves?  I don't think that people will claim all the labels they are given.  I think that it is others being judgemental and labeling them.

Immigrant
Illegal
Conservative
Liberal
Righteous
Sinner
Forgiven

So what is your label? What label do you put on people? Aren't we all just children of God, sinners saved by grace? But you say some aren't saved, they're still running around sinning, those are the ones that we need to write laws against and protect our children from. First, just because your saved doesn't mean you stop sinning. Second, isn't that being judgemental?

Here are the labels I'll claim: conservative, liberal, sinner and forgiven.  My ancestors were immigrants and long before there was a legal or illegal status.  I know that some came over during the Irish potato famine so IF there had been an illegal status I believe that wouldn't have stopped them.  They were starving and were getting to America no matter the cost, legal or otherwise.   And I KNOW I can never claim to be righteous, I don't believe any human can!  Only God can use that label.

Yes, I consider myself both conservative and liberal.  I am personally conservative and publicly liberal.  That just made it clear as mud for you, didn't it?  I'll explain, I personally live my life by conservative principles.  I try to live by the "Big 10", meaning commandments.  I KNOW, however, that I fail on a daily basis.  This is where I'm publicly liberal, how I treat others.  Expecting others to live by my principles is just being judgemental.  How can I put my standards and principles on others when I can't even live up to them?  I am constantly reminded of Col 3:13, "... Forgive as the Lord forgave you."  Matt 6:14 even says that if you do not forgive you will not be forgiven (paraphrased). 

I am a sinner saved by grace. Because I am human, it's my nature to sin.  But also, as humans we tend to put measurements (judgements) on sin.  "Well, I'm not as bad as THAT guy!"  Sin is sin, whether you tell little fibs (not a very big one) or are a serial killer (big one).  It's the same to God.  That's where most people short circuit, they can't comprehend how that is the same.  His ways are not our ways.  Here's how I heard it explained once: Suppose God has all of the money in the world (a little more than Bill Gates or the Queen).  A little white lie is like stealing a dollar, serial murder is stealing a thousand dollars.  Both are stealing. 

I also think that God works on each of our sins individually.  For example, a few years ago, God convicted me that soap operas were my way of still gossiping.  They were just fictitious characters so it was "OK".  The sin of gossip was in my heart and God convicted me of that, so I haven't watched soaps since.  Now do I think that everyone who watches soap operas is sinning? NO of course not!  For that person soaps may merely be the entertainment they were intended to be.

When I see "THAT guy", I think, there but the grace of God go I.  I don't think there is enough time in my life or enough wrong could ever be done to me that I could possibly have as much to forgive as I've been forgiven.

So what is your label?  How about judgemental?  Ok, I'll claim that one too... but I'm working on it!

I'm living on the eighth day, right now!

Details

As John Maxwell says, "The difference between ordinary and extraordinary is just a little extra."  I see it as the minor details.  As I'm looking at my checklist again, I can see that there is just one or two little details that I am missing.  I've fallen back into "comfortable".  For example, I do read every night, but not quite sure I'm getting in the full 10 pages.  Judging from where I'm at in this month's book, I'm pretty sure... NOT!  Actually, if you divide the number of pages by the number of days in the month, you get 3 as the average.  Not even half way to 10!!!  I have been listening to audio in my car instead of the radio to make up for not listening because of not exercising.  There are two problems with that game plan.  First, I should just be exercising AND listening to audio instead of finding another way to listen without exercising.  Second, I am not in the car that much, it takes all of 5 minutes to go to and from my son's school.  That's only 10 minutes of audio a day.  Not quite the same as 30 minutes uninterrupted.  I guess what I have been doing is better than doing nothing but it's not that little "extra".  I don't want to be ordinary. Who does?  So this week I am focusing on the details, that little "extra" in each on of my areas.  Come to think of it, I guess that's another definition for the slight edge, that little "extra", the minor details!

I'm living on the eighth day, right now!

Hello! I'm baaaaack!

Ok, so I didn't really go away. I just quit blogging. I have still been doing MOST of my check list items. All three "Heart" items are now pretty ingrained habits. There have been occasional days that I may have missed exercising. For example, I just attended a weekend Leadership Conference. Did do a LOT of walking but no formal exercise. The first two "Soul" items, Prayer Partner & talk to Jeff, have slipped back to weekdays. Weekends it doesn't seem to happen or is hit and miss depending on activities. Reaching out to one more is really turned into a habit when I'm out and about. I honestly feel almost a complusion to talk to people now. I just seem to say what comes to mind as I see people i.e. wow that's a beautiful necklace, what a cute baby how old, etc. Under "Mind" reading is a very ingrained habit, can't seems to fall asleep without it no matter how late or how tired I am. Audio is hit and miss with the exercise. I tend to get in a habit of listening to voice mail or talking to someone while I exercise and then the audio doesn't happen. And if I don't exercise then audio doesn't happen either. Blog checklist? Well, I think we know the answer to THAT one!!!!

I will be updating the checklist daily but probably only blog once a week or so. I have changed the blog to have my checklist along the side.
<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<

The last one I posted was:
February 21, 2010

I'm living on the eighth day, right now!

Week 6

Well, the scale didn't move at all this last week.  But that is ok.  I am still down a total of 7lbs over 5 weeks so that still puts me at more than a pound a week.

My prayer partner and I however have fallen back into the "skipping" weekends habit!  Gotta get over that one.

I have had a very busy 4 days and have much to blog about so look for additional posts this week.  Until then...

I'm living on the eighth day, right now!

Excuses Excuses

If you've noticed I haven't posted in the last two days.  Also, if you check the Week 5 post you will see I didn't do exercise, audio, read or blog on Monday or Tuesday (remember reading lags a day because I count the night before).  Ok I feel like I need to give an explaination...er... excuse.  I heard once that excuses are like armpits, everyone's got at least two and both of 'em stink!  I have also heard just because it's an excuse doesn't mean it isn't true!  Remember me asking for your grace in allowing me to be human.  Well, here's my excuse...

I woke up Monday morning with a stiff neck.  I don't know what I did but as the day progressed it turned into a migraine.  Not just a little headache, but the kind of migraine that felt like my head would explode if it moved.  Also, sound and light were like someone was crashing cymbals with my head in the middle sooooo... the exercise, audio and reading just didn't happen as well as the blog.  I did manage to talk to some people on the phone, facebook and email. 

Tuesday was even worse.  I didn't sleep well on top of the migraine AND ibuprofin wasn't even touching it.  I had some tingling in my left hand so maybe I had a pinched nerve.  Well, the exercise, audio, book and blog didn't happen again. 

Last night I slept with a round pillow (you know the kind that looks like a log) under my neck.  It seemed to help.  This morning the neck was stiff but no headache!!! Yea!!! So today I was back on track.

I really don't like excuses but I just thought people might be wondering what was up.  The point of this is that I didn't let my excuses to stop me. This is where most people give up and quit.  Why?  I don't know maybe they just wanted an excuse or maybe they are just ashamed they "slipped up".  It doesn't really matter.  That was yesterday, draw a line in the sand and move on.  So that's my story and I'm sticking to it. (it is the truth, remember that blog about me not being able to lie?)  During those two days I did manage all other items.  It just goes to show how easy my list is!

I'm living on the eighth day, right now!

Week 5

I can't believe I'm starting week five!!!  I woke up with an AMAZING start.  I am down another 4 pounds this week, for a total of SEVEN pounds!!!  I was so shocked I had to weigh twice. 

All of my daily disciplines are really feeling like a habit now.  The day isn't right until they are all done.  Although, Sundays haven't been good prayer partner days.  I guess with church and Bible study we don't realize it's missing until too late at night.  We both have been doin' so much prayin' all day already!

This week, I was talking with a friend of mine and she said that she wished she could take that kind of time for herself but her family is too demanding.  Another lady said her family needed attention and threw her off track.  My husband has reminded me that taking care of myself IS taking care of my family. I think he equated it to car maintenance (not very flattering) but the point being if I break down then I can’t take care of them. I know as moms we feel selfish if we take time for ourselves, this helps me to not feel too selfish.  Marie Osmond talked about this on Larry King when she was discussing her recent weight loss.  Moms are the caretakers of the family but they often forget to take care of themselves.  I am always amazed at the additional energy I have when I exercise and eat right.  It actually does mutiply my time.  So no more excuses of "don't have the time" or "my kids have kept me too busy".  Take the time to take care of yourself and you will get MORE than that time back.

I'm living on the eighth day, right now!

Week 4

Since I completed the first 21 days, I'm only going to update this one blog daily.  I will add the initial for the day of the week on the check list item.  I will also write other blogs as the thoughts or events occur.

I'm living on the eighth day, right now!

21 Days!

21 days today!!!  It is definitely feeling like a habit to do my daily disciplines.  I wouldn't call it an ingrained habit yet but it's getting there.  I'm almost done with my monthly book, long before the end of the month!  My attitude is much more positive thanks to the audios and lots of communication with Jeff.  My payoff plan is going well.  We had a couple of unexpected expenses pop up and were able to handle those.  Over the last two days my prayer partner and I have recieved news of at least half a dozen prayer requests that have been answered (yes prayer works).  I bounced back from my fibro flair pretty quickly AND I am down 3 pounds!
So they're small gains but for only 21 days... Let's multiple that out over 6 months... 6 months = 180 days (rounding)  180/21 = 8.6 (rounding again) 8.6 x 3 (pounds) = that's 26 pounds!!!  That would put me 3 pounds lower than my lowest adult weight EVER!  The slight edge at work.

I heard something today on my audio that exactly summarized why I am doing so well at this.  I have had many people say, "Oh you're so disciplined" or "I don't have that much self control".  Well, I'm here to say NEITHER DO I!  The reason this has worked is in this quote (sorry don't have the source)
When performance is measured performance improves,
When performance is measured AND reported the rate of improvement accelerates.
First, I have my check list of daily disciplines and am checking it daily (performance measured).
Second, I am reporting it, to all who read my blog AND to my abandonment ladies on email AND my prayer partner who unwittingly got made a part of my disciplines AND my husband, Jeff, who reads AND comments on my blog daily.  In other words, I have a lot of eyes looking at me and whether I am going to do what I say.  That's not even counting my kids who are watching and commenting on me doing my checklist.  That reporting to others is what causes my rate of improvement to accelerate.

I've heard many people say that they are going to quit smoking, or quit drinking, or diet or read their Bible daily... but I don't want to tell anyone "in case I fail".  Well, they are GOING to fail, simply because they aren't telling anyone.  Another word for it is accountablity, if you are accountable to more than just yourself, it makes it easier to stick to the daily disciplines.  So whatever it is that you want to accomplish. Tell many people about it, get a philosophy about it AND report to them daily.  It sure makes it easier to stick to it.
I'm living on the eighth day, right now!

Heart
check 30 Minute Exercise
check ate fruits or veggies
check followed payoff plan
Soul
check Prayed with prayer partner
check Talked to Jeff
check Reached out to one more
Mind
check listened to audio
check read 10 pages
check blog checklist

Flexible

Now that I am almost back to the land of the living.  Here are some of my thoughts on the weekend...

On Sunday, we had to be up at 5:30am so that we could leave for the track by 6:30am.  We got to the track and Jacob ran his 200m time trial.  Then the clouds started to build.  The 500m sprint heats were running when the rain finally busted through.  Some people ran for cover, we got a little wet.  Jacob was two races away from his race.  Then the rain REALLY broke lose and we RAN for the car!  Luckily our rental car was a hatch back so we could sit in it out of the rain.  They finally called the racing until 1:30pm.  So we went to lunch.  During most of the lunch time it didn't rain.  We went back to the track, it rained a little more.  Then it stopped enough to start the racing.  Jacob did well.  We managed to get through the rest of the meet with no more rain.  We went back to the hotel to get cleaned up and then went out to a celebration dinner.  By the time we got back to the hotel it was 11:30pm and I was nearly comotose since I had been up for 18 hours with only 5 hours sleep the night before.  Hence, the minimal post and missed disciplines.

As I was thinking about this later I realized my biggest problem was not being flexible enough.  I did take my book the second day so that I could get reading in between the races.  But I could have brought my walking shoes and gone for a 30 minute walk, even if it was in the rain.  It may not always be reasonable to exercise with workout equipment at a reasonable hour.  The same is true for the fruits & veggies, I need to find alternatives to salads in a restaurant.  An apple jumps to mind, it's portable, self-packaged, self-opening and it has lots of needed fiber.  Then yesterday I did a little phone tag with my prayer partner.  When our lives don't sync up I need an alternative... yesterday I opted for extended personal prayer time.  Flexible!

My life can't be on a regimented schedule, I wouldn't want it to be.  It's the craziness in life that makes it fun.  Being the mother of four boys I am very flexible with just about everything.  Schedules, meals, laundry, emergencies, boo-boos, etc  In the past, one of the ways I was flexible to the needs of the kids was to drop my needs or scratch personal "to dos" off the list.  I would just drop what I wanted to get done and replace it with what someone else NEEDED done.  Well, I am going to change the way that I flex.  My priorities need to get done and NOT dropped when something else comes up.  I just need to be flexible in when and how they get done.

I'm living on the eighth day, right now!

Heart
check 30 Minute Exercise
check ate fruits or veggies
check followed payoff plan
Soul
check Prayed with prayer partner
check Talked to Jeff
check Reached out to one more
Mind
check listened to audio
check read 10 pages
check blog checklist

Getting better every day!

Today was even better.  Although I didn't connect with my prayer partner so had to do the praying solo... just not the same.  Good but not the same.

Dr. Chet wrote for the 30 pound club (http://www.drchet.com/) the "50 Bit Fills".  These are simple little exercises you can fill in the 30 second bits you have through out the day.  For example, stand up and sit down five time when you send an email.  Well, if you've seen the news, we have had pouring rain here in Phoenix.  Actually, had a tornado spotted (I thought I left that kind of weather in Kansas).  Since my exercise equipment is on the back patio, the rain made it difficult to do my regular exercise.  So I decided to try Dr. Chet's Bit Fills all ran together... WOW I felt muscles that I haven't felt in years.  They are all really silly little exercises that you can do sitting or standing but I feel like I had one of the best workouts I've had in a long time. 

If you work in an office and have difficulty finding time to work out I HIGHLY recommend these exercises.  Plus, these are such a Slight Edge thing to do.  They aren't intended to be done all in a row like I did.  Just one exercise when you have 30 seconds.  Through out the day you may get in 4 or 5 of them but over time they will help you burn calories and strengthen your body.  It's an easy thing to do... it is also easy NOT to do.  Which one will it be for you?  For me...

I'm living on the eighth day, right now!

Heart
check 30 Minute Exercise
check ate fruits or veggies
check followed payoff plan
Soul
NOT Prayed with prayer partner
check Talked to Jeff
check Reached out to one more
Mind
check listened to audio
check read 10 pages
check blog checklist

Still Hurting

The Fibro is still getting the better of me but I can't let it stop me.  So I chose to ignore pain and do my daily disciplines anyway.  I have to say it felt really good to accomplish my disciplines no matter how I physically felt.  I also know that if I keep with it the pain will subside and I will feel better each day I stick with it.

I'm living on the eighth day, right now!

Heart
check 30 Minute Exercise
check ate fruits or veggies
check followed payoff plan
Soul
check Prayed with prayer partner
check Talked to Jeff
check Reached out to one more
Mind
check listened to audio
check read 10 pages
check blog checklist

Fibro kicks back

Today was NOT a good day! With Fibromyalgia, if you over stress your body, like not getting enough sleep, sitting and getting cramped on a 4-5 hour plane flight, not exercising or eating properly, etc etc, you get very wiped out 3 days later. For me that would be today! The "wiped out" symptoms are similar to the beginning of coming down with the flu, body aches, extreme fatigue, even slight nausea. I know that tomorrow will only be a little better. This, however, is the point in the past where I would continually say, "Maybe tomorrow, some day..." Well, that is the past and IT'S OVER and some day doesn't exist because ...

I'm living on the eighth day, right now!

Heart
NOT 30 Minute Exercise
NOT ate fruits or veggies
check followed payoff plan
Soul
check Prayed with prayer partner
check Talked to Jeff
check Reached out to one more
Mind
NOT listened to audio
check read 10 pages
check blog checklist

Back Home

Well, it's been a long day of travel.  I did much better today.  I got up and exercised and listened to audio.  My prayer partner called as we were checking out of the hotel. Thank you Cynthia!  Everything else fell into place as we traveled.  For now I'm going to bed and I will write my thoughts about the weekend tomorrow.  Until then...

I'm living on the eighth day, right now!

Heart
check 30 Minute Exercise
check ate fruits or veggies
check followed payoff plan
Soul
check Prayed with prayer partner
check Talked to Jeff
check Reached out to one more
Mind
check listened to audio
check read 10 pages
check blog checklist

Allowed Travel to Beat Me

Didn't do so well... tomorrow is another day... forget yesterday, it's over!

I'm living on the eighth day, right now!

Heart
NOT 30 Minute Exercise
check ate fruits or veggies
check followed payoff plan
Soul
NOT Prayed with prayer partner
check Talked to Jeff
check Reached out to one more
Mind
NOT listened to audio
check read 10 pages
check blog checklist

Challenges of Travel

I did get up early to go to the fitness center, got in the workout and audio. Then it was off to the track. It is now midnight and we were at the track ALLLLLLL day. It is sandy and very windy here in Florida so I feel like I spent the day on the beach without the relaxing part.

The veggies were a challenge since the only food at the track was a snack bar i.e. hot dogs, nachos, candy, and soda. Not a vegetable to be found! Jeff did a run to subway at lunch time but I didn’t think I could count lettuce and cucumbers on my sandwich as a serving of veggies. So later, he went to 7-11 and got a little mini veggie platter with dip. I spent the day with Jeff so THAT one was easy. And of course, there were many new people to meet. We have to leave the hotel at 6:30am to be back at the track tomorrow. Yeah!  The big challenge will be to read 10 pages without falling asleep!!! Since I’m counting the night before reading on today’s status I get it for today. Remember the airplane yesterday? But tomorrow???

I'm living on the eighth day, right now!

Heart
check 30 Minute Exercise
check ate fruits or veggies
check followed payoff plan
Soul
check Prayed with prayer partner
check Talked to Jeff
check Reached out to one more
Mind
check listened to audio
check read 10 pages
check blog checklist

Where the rubber meets the road!

Today was a challenge.  I am "on the road" and writting from Coral Gables, Florida.  My 16 year old has a meet here this weekend and it has been a little bit of a crazy 24 hours.

We were supposed to fly out of Phoenix at 4pm and land at 10pm.  The meet starts tomorrow at 1pm.  We figured there would be practice on the track in the morning... NOT.  Yesterday morning we found out that the practice time would be today.  There was a 9:50 am flight with open seats, if we got to the airport early, for $50 each, we could get on that flight and he could get some practice time on the track.  I had to get everything done and arranged to leave 6 hours earlier than was planned.  So everything went into overdrive.  Well, the travel went ok.  We got on the flight with a little delay on the tarmack in Phoenix.  When we landed at the airport in Florida, one of Jake's friends texted him that the park was closed all day today.  No practice available!!!  After checking around we went to the host hotel to check in for the event and make sure the track really was closed... it was.  Then we went to our hotel and checked in.  By then it was 8pm and I had eaten a meal replacement bar and snack crackers.  So we went to dinner in the hotel.  By then it was 9pm and I needed to go back to the airport at 10 to pick up my husband (he was on the flight we were originally on).

Here's where the rubber meets the road.  How did my daily disciplines go?  (note: words with * should be read in a princessie whinnie voice)  The reading and reaching out went very well.  What else is there to do on a 4 hour plane flight but read?  And of course, we met many nice people along the way and struck up many conversations.  I was going to talk to Jeff plenty when he landed.  I prayed with my prayer partner as I drove to the airport in the morning.  Payoff plan, I simply have followed what was budgeted for this trip (no upgrades on the rental car).  Although, Tony, the nice gentleman at Budget tried to convience me that I NEEDED* a convertable for the weekend.  At dinner I REALLY* wanted the chicken quesdilla but I had the chicken ceaser salad instead.  It actually was very good.  That brought me to 9pm in the hotel room.  Exercise and audio were hurting and I didn't WANNA*... (cue self talk)  "I WAS* physically TIRED* from lugging my 50# bag around (a wheel broke).  I COULD* count that as exercise.  I'll listen to something on the way to the airport (even though it's only a 20 minute drive). I will have to write about this... (remember I can't lie) OK OK OK SHUT UP LITTLE SELF TALK VOICE*"  I put on my exercise clothes got my MP3 player and went to the fitness center.  After 30 minutes of treadmill and an awesome audio, I felt like I had conquered a major hurdle.  I got everything in today even on the road.  Now it's 1am (florida time) and I needed to type my blog.  Not gonna slip up on that one.  No more excuses after a day like today!  This was a looooooong eighth day!

I'm living on the eighth day, right now!

Heart
check 30 Minute Exercise
check ate fruits or veggies
check followed payoff plan
Soul
check Prayed with prayer partner
check Talked to Jeff
check Reached out to one more
Mind
check listened to audio
check read 10 pages
check blog checklist

Faults

Something else Ryder said last night has gotten me thinking all day. Actually, doesn't have much to do with business. My mind kinda went off on a tangent (ADHD rears its ugly head) so try to follow my mental bunny trail.

Ryder said that we need to, "not be afraid to fail". I thought at the time, "Ya, that's true, we always learn more from our failures than our successes." Then I went on...

Today it was rattling around in my head, "Why are we afraid of failure?", "What is it that scares us?" Then I realized failure points out our faults and no one likes to think about their faults. We like to think about ourselves as perfect, we're ashamed of our faults and don't want them to be "publicly" exposed. As my thoughts trailed on, I realized that this is another area where God's economy is opposite from the world's. God created us with all of our faults, just special for His purpose. I think He is actually like a proud Papa when it comes to our faults. I imagined this conversation with God, "Look, look at this one!" as He claps His hands joyfully and points to one of man, "See? Look at his fault AND he's a really good man, with My help he's going to become a spiritual leader. He will be a great man, remembered by generations to come! I'm gonna use that particular fault of his to reach his wife! She's is LOADED with faults! Look, look at her!! What a triumphant creation of faults! She's a procrastinator, painfully shy, strong-willed, hot-tempered, disorganized, and almost agnostic (well not against Me but the world's church). I'm going to put her in a business that requires people skills, self-motivation, personal growth, and organization skills. She will be required to go out and meet strangers and THEN get on a stage and talk about it! When people see her story they will know beyond a shadow of a doubt that it was ME who triumphed because I created her with no skills of her own and a ton of faults to overcome. Whew! What a work she is! She is SO extra special to Me because I had to work extra to make one with so many faults in one package."

We are such a work of art but not by the world's standard. To God, we're more like opals than diamonds. It's our faults that make us beautiful and colorful to Him.

I'm living on the eighth day, right now!

Heart
check 30 Minute Exercise
check ate fruits or veggies
check followed payoff plan
Soul
check Prayed with prayer partner
check Talked to Jeff
check Reached out to one more
Mind
check listened to audio
check read 10 pages
check blog checklist

It's Over

Forget about last year because it's over!  I heard that at a meeting tonight (thank you Ryder).
Ball-Peen Hammer Moment!  I think we all spend way too much mental space and energy dwelling on the past.  Not just last year, but last month, last week, yesterday or even last hour.  Forget about it, it's over!

I think the worst thing that we do when dwelling on the past is that we measure our future potential.  It's like an algebra problem.  If it takes X number of hours to drive Y number of miles then how long will it take to go another Y miles.  If I eat X number of calories and lose Y number of pounds... If I do X of one thing it will ALWAYS give me Y results. Not true! Not only is today not the same as yesterday, I'm not the same person as yesterday. Hopefully, I'm at least a little bit better. So forget about last year, it's over. We also can't dwell on the future because it is TOO big of a leap. All we can affect is right now so I will dwell on the daily disciplines and trust it will make for a better tomorrow.

I'm living on the eighth day, right now!

Heart
check 30 Minute Exercise
check ate fruits or veggies
check followed payoff plan
Soul
check Prayed with prayer partner
check Talked to Jeff
check Reached out to one more
Mind
check listened to audio
check read 10 pages
check blog checklist

Halfway to a habit!

Day 10 down... It takes 21 days to establish a habit.  I'm almost to the halfway point!  It really is starting to feel like a habit, where the day isn't quite "normal" without getting everything done.

I am also dicovering new and interesting fruits and veggies AND discovering new and interesting ways to prepare and eat them.  I actually have been eating them two or three meals a day and usually more than one servings worth.  That is a huge improvement considering I used to go whole days without a single serving.

I forgot to report on my weigh in on Sunday.  I have abandoned 2 pounds and the clothes are definitely fitting better!  At this rate I should basically be at my goal by the end of March!

I'm living on the eighth day, right now!

Heart
check 30 Minute Exercise
check ate fruits or veggies
check followed payoff plan
Soul
check Prayed with prayer partner
check Talked to Jeff
check Reached out to one more
Mind
check listened to audio
check read 10 pages
check blog checklist

It's all about attitude... NOT!

Most people would agree that in order to accomplish your goals you just need to have a positive attitude. There is self-help, how-to and positive mental attitude books to help you succeed at almost anything. You can do anything IF you have a positive attitude, just change your attitude. I personally have TRIED to have a positive attitude about exercise and healthy eating. But it doesn't seem to matter how hard I try to take every thought captive, I still hate exercise! I love the results but I still hate exercise. The only part of exercising I enjoy is when I'm done and can quit. I tolerate vegetables, I love feeling healthy but as far as foods, I LOVE chocolate and tolerate vegetables. Well, I just need to change my attitude, right? NOT.


Jeff Olson, the author of The Slight Edge says that it is not about how to or attitude but about philosophy. This was such a huge relief to me. I don't have to change my attitude about exercise but I do have to have a philosophy that will drive me on. "Your philosophy is your view of life, something beyond feelings and attitudes." He says, "Your philosophy is what you know, how you hold what you know and how it affects what you do." I know that if I do my daily disciplines of 30 minutes of exercise and eat more fruits and veggies, I will be healthier. That's what drives me on, that knowledge.


What about the rest of my goals? What drives me on there? A true life philosophy should encompass your life. It is a simple, catch phrase, mantra, slogan, brand... A wonderful example would be Nike's "Just Do It". It isn't abstract or detailed like a vision or mission or goals or affirmations. It is something you can hang on to, to get you through what you don't want to do. It drives you on to the goal.


I know that I talked last week about constructing an affirmation and I broke down, "I'm living on the eighth day, right now!" However, now as I look at it, I think that is my philosophy. It gives me the sense of urgency. I'm living on borrowed time. God has given us only so much and we should measure our days wisely. It also keeps me from procrastinating and getting hung up on what I didn't do yesterday. Finally, it helps me to just get on with it instead of figuring out all of the details, calculating the numbers, and putting together spreadsheets and graphs describing the progress. (Thanks to my engineering background AND melancholy personality type) As I mentioned, I find myself saying it multiple times a day. Like the little engine that could, "I think I can, I think I can...", "living on the eighth day, living on the eighth day, living on the eighth day", "right now, right now, right now".  

I'm living on the eighth day, right now!

Heart
check 30 Minute Exercise
check ate fruits or veggies
check followed payoff plan
Soul
check Prayed with prayer partner
check Talked to Jeff
check Reached out to one more
Mind
check listened to audio
check read 10 pages
check blog checklist

Back on Track!

Week Two Day One or Day Eight!  I got back on track today. 

I want to thank people that have helped.  First, my abandonment ladies, Cindy and Francine.  Thank you for the complete honesty and transparency we have.  It helps me feel like I don't have to be so perfect.  Through our combined weaknesses we are strong!  Plus, it feels so good to be back is regular communication with you two.  Second, my prayer partner, Cynthia, for being soooo faithful in calling me every day.  Third, Jeff, for calling me (on weekdays).  I need to work on calling him on weekends.  I'm counting chating on facebook for an hour this morning as our talk time today.  Did I mention we are geeks?  Last and not least, EVERYONE reading this blog!  I can't believe how much this has helped me.  Just knowing that I'm going to have to report on my blog what I did that day, is huge motivation.  I hope that I return the favor by giving my readers inspiration to stick to their own goals and daily disciplines.

I'm living on the eighth day, right now!

Heart
check 30 Minute Exercise
check ate fruits or veggies
check followed payoff plan
Soul
check Prayed with prayer partner
check Talked to Jeff
check Reached out to one more
Mind
check listened to audio
check read 10 pages
check blog checklist

Day Seven

Well, one full week down!!!  And I blew it on the last day of the week.  Although not completely.

Saturdays start with getting up at 5:30 AM to take Jacob to speed skating practice.  Usually not too bad but my neighbor decided to have a party until 2:30 AM which wouldn't be too bad either except that the headboard of my bed is about 6 feet from his patio.  So I was exhausted today (I know an excuse).  But I had a plan.

I talked with TWO different people I had never met at my son's skating practice.  I also read my book (14 pages) during practice.  (So far so good)  My 7 year old had a birthday party to go to at 11 AM so the plan was come home from practice, do a few household chores, take Jared to the party and then catch a couple hour nap.  Then I could do the rest of my list in the afternoon.  That would have been an ok plan IF I didn't have other kids coming and going.  Another needing a ride to work and then a ride home from work and the 7 year old wanting dinner!!!

I did manage to pray in there, thank you to my prayer partner who called me.  I did snack on some carrots so got that one done too.  I actually spent most of the day on the couch watching movies trying to nap.  Finally, at 8:30 PM I kicked myself in the hiney!  I rode my bike for 30 minutes and listened to audio, and checked my balances.  So what did I miss?  I didn't talk to Jeff .  I did text at 11 PM "R u still up?"  No reply, I guess he wasn't.  Tomorrow I will be doing the calling.  These are my disciplines so I need to take the action and not wait to be called.  Never did get the nap maybe "some day..." oh wait...

I'm living on the eighth day, right now!


Heart
check 30 Minute Exercise
check ate fruits or veggies
check followed payoff plan
Soul
check Prayed with prayer partner
NOT Talked to Jeff
check Reached out to one more
Mind
check listened to audio
check read 10 pages
check blog checklist

Day Six!

I've almost made a week! 1/3 of the way to 21 days... I got up this morning and when I got to the bathroom I realized that I did it without groining, moaning, creaking, aching, huffing or puffing!!!! I wouldn’t say I JUMPED out of bed but I did get up easily without even realizing it. That is huge! I just finished exercising and thoughts of adding ab-lounger to my routine popped in my head. However, I am NOT going to let myself add to my daily disciplines until 21 days and for me it’s taking discipline to not add more.

But tomorrow is the weekend...

I'm living on the eighth day, right now!
Heart
check 30 Minute Exercise
check ate fruits or veggies
check followed payoff plan
Soul
check Prayed with prayer partner
check Talked to Jeff
check Reached out to one more
Mind
check listened to audio
check read 10 pages
check blog checklist

Mind & Day Five!

Even less pain today! I'm kicking my Fibro to the curb!!! My back is still aching but my hips don't feel like I need hip replacement surgery. Getting all of my daily disciplines done is feeling more like daily routine than a chore. Even "reaching one more", amazingly the people just are popping up. Yesterday, as I was helping my 16 year old train on a street in our neighborhood, I met a new neighbor AND I saw (and talked to) another neighbor, that I haven't talked to in at least a couple of years. Today I traded emails with two different people that I haven't talked to in about a year, one in Wichita, KS and one in Apache Junction, AZ.

The final area "Mind - Mental - Personal Development" ... Again we have the issue of measurement. How do you know if you're a better person? I even put the word daily in this goal because the end result is so immeasurable and we're never done. I hope to be improving personally, every day of my life. So the goal is: Stay on track with my personal development DAILY!

These are the easiest disciplines for me. If I am exercising, I'm listening to an audio. Through our business I have access to many wonderful MP3s, so I will never run out! Yesterday I walked with John Maxwell as he told me what books impacted his life and today I learned about forgiveness from Paul & Billie Tsieka. Wow, what powerful mentors. I also have been an avid reader for many years. I used to read Danielle Steel novels but then I realized they didn't impact my life (for the positive that is). Around 15 years ago I changed to reading books that I could get something good out of. Now I read every night before I go to sleep, actually I can't get to sleep without reading first. I am finding it challenging to read 10 pages. Before I was only reading until I got "drowsy" eyes, (sometimes after one sentence) turned off the light and went to sleep. So I feel that I am getting much more out of the reading now.

Finally, blog checklist!!! This of course is the newest habit for me, all of the others have been in my life off and on (more off than should have been) but this is a brand spankin' new discipline. Of course, I have used various forms of checklists in the past. Electronic on my PDA (remember those?), now on my phone, outlook tasks, and scribbled on scraps of paper in my purse (still the most common in my life). I still use these for different "to do" lists but I haven't ever blogged about my daily life. I have to say it has already helped tremendously. These daily disciplines aren't just New Year’s resolutions I made to myself, I publicly declared them!

Just in these five days, there are more times than I would like to admit, I didn't want to do one discipline or another and the thought occurred, "I would have to put on my blog that I didn't do it!" I know some of you are thinking, "Just SAY you did it." That would be people who don't know me. I CAN'T lie, not just that I DON'T lie, I CAN'T lie. Even as a child, my sister used to say, "Let me talk, not saying anything is not lying." Then mom would ask, "What are you girls up to?" and I would blurt out EVERYTHING my sister didn't want me to. Never been able to lie, I don't know why but I figure that's a good flaw to have so I never tried to change it. This trait is also a bonus in declaring my affirmation...

I'm living on the eighth day, right now!

Heart
check 30 Minute Exercise
check ate fruits or veggies
check followed payoff plan
Soul
check Prayed with prayer partner
check Talked to Jeff
check Reached out to one more
Mind
check listened to audio
check read 10 pages
check blog checklist

Soul & Day Four

Yipee!! Day four actually had a little less pain than day three!

That means I am pushing through the Fibro pain. The way I describe it to others is like the tin man, when he was all rusted up, he didn't squeek. But when they started to oil his joints and move him, he squeeked really loudly. Then once he was all oiled up he could move freely without squeeking. I'm squeeking pretty loud but it's getting better!

Today I am going to discuss "Soul". I debated about these goals because I read in another book that said your goals should be measureable. How do you measure a "deepened relationship"? I believe that all relationships ebb and flow, even our relationship to God. He's always there, it is usually (always) us that moves. How do you measure "impacting more people"? Especially when I know there are people we can impact and never even know. This blog alone, I hope, inspires someone to keep going towards their goals, or even write down some goals. All of those would be positive impacts. Again not measureable. So I am simply going to measure my daily discipline. The goal then is to do these three EVERY day.

Let me give you a little history. The first two I have been doing for quite a while. My prayer partner and I have been praying every morning for just over three years. Well, sort of every morning, we're really bad on the weekends and if either one of us is traveling. So my challenge for this discipline is to not miss weekends. The same is true for talking to Jeff. We're really good on weekdays, but weekends slip through the cracks.

The third discipline, "reach out to one more", I am measuring as making contact with someone outside of my usual circle daily. This may be, having a little conversation with the checkout clerk at the store (answering, "did you find everything ok?" with "fine" doesn't count) or trading emails with a contact or making a phone call. I am allowing people that I already know but not counting those I regularly interact with. The key is they need to be someone I have to "reach out" to.

For me, this is BY FAR the most difficult of all nine daily disciplines. I don't work outside my home and it would be very easy for me to "hibernate" in my house and my comfortable environment. So this will take effort to either go somewhere or pick up the phone. Plus there's the issue of how I was wired. Most people who know me are always surprised that this is a challenage for me. I would be described as out-going, friendly, and talkative (sometimes too much). All that is true, but only if I am with someone I know. I was in drama in high school and I am very comfortable on stage or at the podium. I have spoken to audiences of several hundred without a single bit of nerves, I love it actually. But talking to a stranger, one on one, by myself, terrifies me!!! The thought of a job interview (back when I was a working girl) scared me, even if I was the interviewer! I have worked very hard on this over the past several years and I have to say I have gotten way better. I now feel "compelled" to strike up a conversation with the checkout clerk. I went to a copy shop yesterday and was actually glad there was no one else in there so I could have an extended conversation with the clerk. She was a very nice lady!

Besides being the most difficult discipline, I also believe that it is the most important. I heard someone say that the only thing you can take to heaven with you are other people. When I graduated from high school someone gave me a card with a poem titled "Success". The card credited it to Ralph Waldo Emerson which is not true. It has also been attributed to Robert Louis Steveson, also not true. A similar poem was written by Bessie Anderson Stanley, in 1904. Here is the version that was on my card:

Success

To live well, laugh often, and love much;
To win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children;
To earn the appreciation of honest critics and endure the betrayal of false friends;
To appreciate beauty,
To find the best in others;
To leave the world a bit better, whether by a healthy child,
A garden patch or a redeemed social condition;
To have played and laughed with enthusiasm and sung with exultation;
To know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived.
This is to have succeeded.

I have since believed that the only true definition of success is to touch other people's lives. That is impacting people!

I'm living on the eighth day, right now!

Heart
check 30 Minute Exercise
check ate fruits or veggies
check followed payoff plan
Soul
check Prayed with prayer partner
check Talked to Jeff
check Reached out to one more
Mind
check listened to audio
check read 10 pages
check blog checklist

Day Three - OW!!!

Day two was fairly easy – got everything done early, felt good, went to bed and slept good etc. etc.

Day three, here’s where the rubber meets the road! First hurdle is doing it on day one, getting started, taking the first step...  Second hurdle keep doing it when you’re sore and don't want to. OMG am I sore!!! Sunday caught up with me today! The Fibromyalgia really kicked back.  I'm so glad I have the two ladies in my abandonment group or I think I would give it up about now. That’s why we write goals down, set a time, speak it, affirm it, be accountable…

As I was doing my 30 minutes exercise, I listened to an audio.  It was about writing affirmations.  JUST what I needed to hear.  Do you think that God provides the lessons we need WHEN we need them or do our brains FINALLY hear the lessons when we're ready?  I think I prefer to believe that God makes our brain ready to hear the lesson when we need it!

Here are the nine guidelines to writing effective affirmations:
1. Start with the words "I am", your subconscious interprets it as a command.
2. It should be in the present tense, as if it's already done.
3. State it in the positive, your subsconscious doesn't hear negative words i.e. no or not.
4. Keep it brief!  We can easily remember advertisement jingles.
5. Make it specific and visual.
6. Include an action word ending with "ing".
7. Include an emotion or feeling word.
8. Make it for yourself and not others.
9. Add "or something better" if your affirmation includes a specific physical item, because you never know what God has in store for you.

So I think I did pretty well with my "sign-off" affirmation.  "I'm living on the eighth day, right now!"  Although at the time I wrote it, I didn't think of it as an affirmation but as the days have gone by it's what I've hung onto and been playing in my head to keep going.  "living on the eighth day, living on the eighth day, living on the eighth day..."  Sort of like the Little Engine that could, "I think I can, I think I can".  I felt like I needed a powerful way to close my blogs and I really liked Dr. Chet's sign off of "What are you willing to do today?"  It came to me as I blogged the excerpt of the "eighth day".  (See Ball-Peen Hammer Moment)  It gave me the visual of doing it now, not waiting another day!  It also gave me a sense of living on borrowed time since there isn't REALLY an eighth day.  Let's break it down as an effective affirmation, numbers 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6 & 8 DONE!  I am missing a feeling word, number 7, but it does have an exclamation and it is getting to be a very emotional mantra for me.  Finally, it isn't a physical item so it doesn't have number 9.  What would be "better than" an eighth day?  A ninth day?

Tomorrow I will discuss how I came up with my "soul" daily disciplines.  Until then...

I'm living on the eighth day, right now!

Heart
check 30 Minute Exercise
check ate fruits or veggies
check followed payoff plan
Soul
check Prayed with prayer partner
check Talked to Jeff
check Reached out to one more
Mind
check listened to audio
check read 10 pages
check blog checklist

Heart Part II & Day Two

Today went better than yesterday...  I read 10 pages (last night after blog), prayed, exercised, listened to audio, ate a big bowl of fruit for breakfast, talked to Jeff, reached out to one more (traded emails with a client) all before 10am!!!

That left me with "followed payoff plan".  I would have to have a complete plan to follow it.  Yesterday I did run a Quicken Debt Reduction Report however today I needed to complete that planning, check scheduled payments, both in Quicken AND in every on-line account. 

Remember my goal: Get debt free in 2 years!

The plan that I put together today has everything (except the house) paid off in December 2010!  Now this is a goal we have been working on for a while.  All of our cars are ebay purchases... for cash.  Somethimes I really wonder if this daily discipline should actually be under spiritual since I pray that nothing major happens to my 2002 Dodge Durango this year, "Please, Lord, let it last another year."

So if the "plan" has payoff done by December 2010 then why is my goal 2 years?  Well, without going into too many details, we have some "joint" expenses (including the house) that will take the second year to chunk off.  But I see the light at the of the tunnel!

I'm living on the eighth day, right now!
Heart
check 30 Minute Exercise
check ate fruits or veggies
check followed payoff plan
Soul
check Prayed with prayer partner
check Talked to Jeff
check Reached out to one more
Mind
check listened to audio
check read 10 pages
check blog checklist

Day One Down - 364 To Go

Well, here is my checklist for today! I am proud to say it is all done! Sort of, I still have to read 10 pages but I always read before going to sleep so that one is no problem. I did read 10 pages last night so I'm going to check it. I have to say the rest weren't as easy but as the proverbs say, "The journey of a thousand miles begins with the first step."

I did my official weigh in: 160 pounds YUK!!! How did that happen? I know The Slight Edge at work, one unhealthy bite at a time is how it happened. I joined the 30 pound club at http://www.drchet.com/. So far so good... I was on a roll.

Ok here comes the excuse part...

Today is not only Sunday it is also the last day that Jeff was home. For those who don't know, my husband, Jeff, works as a contractor in Long Beach, CA. We live in Phoenix, AZ. It's a long commute. Anyway, he was home from December 24th until today. That in saying the morning was not my typical schedule. I would usually pray with my prayer partner first thing, followed by exercise while listening to audio, followed by a phone call to Jeff. Well, that's what I always "plan" to do. For the last five months I have only gotten in the two phone calls on a consistent basis (and still not daily at that). Possibly another reason for the 160, no exercise? Could be. Anyway, by the time I took Jeff to the airport, I only had two checklist items done. Talk to Jeff and reach one more. The reach one more was kind of stretching it though, I met my son's friend, Brooke as I drove them to the mall. I haven't "met" her before and we "did" have a conversation. Ok that one will have to be a little better tomorrow.

So back to the story...

I'm back at home, by myself and feeling tired. Cue self talk...

"Maybe I should just take a nap, it had already gotten dark, and I couldn't use my gazelle (which is outside). I'll just start fresh tomorrow. NO!!! TODAY IS THE FIRST DAY!!! Where is this going if I don't even start on my first day? Get your butt up Paula and do it."

I rode my bike on its trainer in the garage. I'm proud to say I even maintained an 80% heart rate. My legs now feel like rubber but I DID IT. I also listened to an audio. (A very appropriate one about pounding away at a goal like a battering ram on a castle wall) Then I ate a bunch of veggies and bowl of chili for dinner. I'm proud to say it was ONE SMALL bowl of chili. This was a challenge in itself because my husband made some KILLER chili. The kind you just want to gorge yourself on, but I didn't. Then I sat down, ran a new Quicken payoff plan report and did my checklist. Done, done and done!!! Yeah me!
I'm living on the eighth day, right now!
Heart
check 30 Minute Exercise
check ate fruits or veggies
check followed payoff plan
Soul
check Prayed with prayer partner
check Talked to Jeff
check Reached out to one more
Mind
check listened to audio
check read 10 pages
check blog checklist

Heart

Ok, so where did these goals come from?   Let’s start with Heart, Physical, Health/Finances.  This is fairly obvious.  The most common New Year’s resolutions are: lose weight and make more money.  My reasons have a little more history.

Ten years ago I was bed ridden with Fibromyalgia.  The doctor wanted to prescribe a series of addictive narcotic pain killers that “may or may not help” and he told me that I would just need to change my activity level.  I couldn’t do anything aerobic again, no exercise, no sports, no skiing, etc. etc.  At 36 years old that wasn’t acceptable.  I got busy, I found herbal alternatives, I researched Fibro, and I started walking EVERY day.  I got back into shape.  Then I got pregnant with my little Oops blessing!!  My youngest son is now 7.

After having him at 39 years old, I had trouble with my “baby” weight.  Actually, I gained weight, month by month after having him and the Fibro got worse until I finally stepped on the scale and saw 179!!!  I was officially obese!  (The cut off from overweight to obese for my age & height is 178)  I also had two dear friends that were honest with me.  When I said I had 20 pounds I wanted to lose, they said, “20??? You need to lose at least 30!!!”  (I actually needed to lose 40)  Hence, the abandonment group was born.  We wanted to “abandon” the weight because if you “lose” something that implies that you want to “find” it back again.  (I've just gotten word from abandonment group ladies - they are "in" for the 30 pound club)

The group worked well.  We followed the BLI newsletters from Dr. Chet, which were the basis for the Trim Advantage program in our business http://www.daniels.mychoices.biz/ .  We supported each other through emails and we had specific goals.  Over the next nine months I abandoned 42 pounds.  (I hadn’t been below 140 for 20 years)  I started inline speed-skating with my son and felt like an athlete again.  I have to say I was buff!  Then I blew out a knee and had to give up skating (honestly, I don’t really miss it).  But that was the excuse.  Instead of intensely working out, I have just been maintaining.

So here it is six years later and I have crept back up to 160.  My exercise is sporadic, my eating has way too many treats and the Fibro has “good days and bad days”.   Now Dr. Chet came out with the 30 pound club!  Perfect!  That’s exactly what I need to lose, um, abandon.  That’s how I came up with the goal of 30 pounds. 

Daily disciplines:  I know that 30 minutes of exercise seems to be a magic number.  It is also VERY easy to put into my daily life.  I also know from experience that 30 minutes of exercise gives me at least 3 hours of additional energy a day.  In terms of eating, I have noticed that I have not been filling up on good stuff so I put bad stuff in my mouth.  If I eat more fruits or veggies, first of all, I get more antioxidants and vitamins in my body and secondly, I fill my tummy with good stuff.

That is the first part of Heart, tomorrow I will discuss finances.  

Until then I’m living on the eighth day, right now!

Ball-Peen Hammer Moment

Have you ever read or heard something that made you feel REALLY stupid?  You know, those DUH times.  I call them Ball-Peen Hammer moments.  Where you feel like you were hit in the middle of the forehead with a Ball-Peen Hammer.  I had one of those in the last chapter of The Slight Edge.  It was so significant that I even uttered an exclamation loud enough for my husband to ask, “What?” from the other room.

It was actually an excerpt, so here it is in full:

Some day, when I have the time, I’m going to … Some day, when I have the money, I’m going to …

Have you ever said that?  “ Some  day ...” It’s a way we have of reinforcing the illusion that the future is safely far removed, that it doesn’t really touch us.  It’s a lie.  Not an intentional, willful deception, but a lie nonetheless.

Let’s say that, “some day,” I’m going to travel around the world.  If that’s really true, if I absolutely intend for that to happen, then I’m making plans.  If it’s not practical today for me to just up and circumnavigate, I can look at what needs to happen first, and second, and third, to end up with that result.

(HERE COMES THE BALL-PEEN MOMENT)

When I set that process in motion, the words “some day …” disappear. I’m making it happen today, right now. In a very real sense, I am already taking the trip. It may be three years before we actually take the trip, but the words “some day…” no longer apply, so I stop using them

When I say “some day …” I’m not really talking about the future.  The future is a reality that I’m connected to by what I’m doing right now.  “Some day …” is about some vague possibility that I’m not taking seriously.

“Some day …” is not a vision of my future.  “Some day …” is a fantasy – nothing more.

Here’s the damage we do with this illusion.  We give weight to our “some day …” fantasies; we squeeze some sense of enjoyment from them as if they were real – and thereby give ourselves permission to take no practical action whatsoever while we swim in the comforting sense that those some-day scenarios will move closer to the unfolding present on their own.

They won’t.  The wistful, wouldn’t-it-be-nice pretending of maybe-futures do not insert themselves into your reality of their own accord.  You’ve got to go claim them.  Ask yourself: “What is there in my life that I hold as “Some day …’?”

Some day … The eighth day of the week.  The only day that never comes.

This is the day – this one.  Right here.  Right now.

-          John David Mann, The Eighth Day of the Week

Years ago I had replaced, “when I get a-round-to-it” with “some day …”  Before reading this I had always held the notion that saying “some  day …” was being positive and hopeful.  Not anymore, I’m either planning the “some day …” thing or actually doing it, I will live on the eighth day right now!!!

The Three-Legged Stool

Anyone who knows me has heard me talk about my "list".  That is my list of questions that I have for when I get to heaven.  Several of those have to do with numbers.  "What is so significant about specific numbers?"  I'm sure that when I ask, "What's significant about the number 3?" The answer will probably be, "Because without 3 legs a stool would fall over. DUH"  As I have studied the significance of three, I have been struck by Matthew 22:37 - 40, Jesus replied: 'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.' This is the first and greatest commandment.  And the second is like it: 'Love your neighbor as yourself.' All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two comandments.  I have come to believe that ALL of life "hang on these two".  The second, of course, is commonly referred to as the golden rule.  The first, is about our personal relationship with God. 
So I have come to believe that all important aspects of life can be melded down to three catagories or areas: heart, soul and mind or physical, spiritual, and mental.  Since the book The Slight Edge has inspired this blog, the author lists 5: Health, Personal Development, Relationships, Finances, and Life. Well, as I see it, Health and Finances are "Physical", Personal Development is "Mental" and Relationships is "Spiritual". Finally, Life is the overall big picture, isn't it?
So here are my goals and daily disciplines organized into 3 areas:
Heart - Physical - health/finances
Goal: Lose 30 pounds in six months.  Get debt free in 2 years.
--> 30 Minute Exercise
--> ate fruits or vegies
--> followed payoff plan
Soul - Spiritual - relationships
Goal: Deepen my relationships with God & my husband.  Expand the number of people I impact this year.
--> Prayed with prayer partner
--> Talked to Jeff
--> Reached out to one more
Mind - Mental - personal development
Goal: Stay on track with my personal development DAILY!
--> listened to audio
--> read 10 pages
--> blog checklist
Did you notice there were 3 items in each area?  That wasn't on purpose, it just happened!!!  There's that number again.  In the coming days I will discuss how I came up with each one of these in my life.

Why???

As I was evaluating 2009 and looking forward to 2010, I recieved an email about our personal development program.  "The 2010 reading list is now available at http://www.leadingbyreading.blogspot.com."  Looking at the list, we are again using John Mawell's Today Matters as the outline for the year.  The book for January is Jeff Olson's The Slight Edge. I was very excited about it and dug out my beat up copy (pages are actually falling out).  Then I realized I actually never "finished" the book.  Last year, when I read it, I got to Chapter 11 and was told to use a pencil and write my goals and to "not skip this".  I was traveling at the time, on an airplane, so I stopped, didn't want to "skip" it.  Then I ran out of month, put the book up and moved on to the next book, the next month.  So I read AND filled out the last two chapters.
So now I have written my goals and my "simple" daily disciplines.  Now I want to track it so that is "WHY" this blog.  I want to keep a journal of this process, see where it goes.  I am open to everyone's insights and unique points of view.  I just ask that you grant me the grace to be human along the way.  The whole point is to learn and change and become a better person.  Why should anyone else care about me becoming better?  Maybe you would like to join the journey for yourself?  Why should we even worry about "self" improvement?  Well, I believe in the "Man in the Mirror" effect, I can only control myself and if I want the world to be better I need to start with myself.
I plan to write on a daily basis for the first 21 days because it takes 21 days to establish a habit.  Then I will continue to at least update the daily check list but will probably only write once a week or so.  To give me a couple of days to "wrap up" things and get organized I will be starting on Sunday January 3rd, 2010.  Plus, that gives me "even" weekdays.  So I will begin by sharing the philosophy behind my goals and what exactly my daily disciplines are.